A practical, compassionate conversation about handling last-minute plan changes. Greg, Rich, and Jay share real stories—from canceled visits and travel postponements to managing anxiety—and offer simple strategies: communicate early, stay flexible, validate your feelings, use breathing to calm down, and reframe changes as opportunities. They emphasize dependability with friends, prioritizing health, and watching for avoidance patterns that lead to isolation.

Greg
00:00 - 00:12
Hello and welcome back to another episode of the Support and Kindness Podcast. I'm Greg. In the room with me today we've got Rich and we've got Jay. Today's episode 10 and it's dealing with last minute plan changes.

Greg
00:12 - 00:27
What do you do when things suddenly change? We're talking about those unexpected curveballs. When your schedule shifts and plans fall through, priorities change at the 11th hour. We'll share some practical ways to stay calm.

Greg
00:26 - 00:38
Communicate clearly and keep relationships strong, even when the plan flips. If you've ever had to pivot under pressure, this one's for you. So let's dive in. Who wants to start us off?

Greg
00:39 - 00:44
Jay, you want to start us off? Or Rich, do you want to start us off? Don't know, shout if you want.

Rich
00:44 - 01:13
I'll go ahead, Rich. Last minute change of plans or priorities comes with a few factors that should be considered. And communicating those factors with all involved, I found, can make a massive difference in everybody's stress level. Whatever those factors may be, whether it's logistical things, transportation, you know, we were talking before we started things like needing a ride, what time your ride's going to be there.

Rich
01:14 - 01:21
your ride to or from. Communicating those things beforehand can make a big difference in your stress levels, as we were talking about.

Greg
01:22 - 01:31
Absolutely. I got an example from this week, actually, and it's Friday. You've heard me talk about Pathway Clubhouse. It's a psychosocial rehabilitation center.

Greg
01:31 - 01:39
It's on East Broad Street. They're all across the country. But anyway, it's a place you can go. They've got some groups and classes.

Greg
01:39 - 01:50
Anyone with a mental health condition can go and hang out, take a class. There's an art gallery, things like that. And it's like a socializing thing. Well, I used to go there all the time.

Greg
01:51 - 02:03
And I decided, you know what, I'm going to go back again. I finally did it. So Friday, I decided that after my ketamine treatment, I was going to take Dakota Mainstream. That's a little bus in our area.

Greg
02:03 - 02:24
that takes you if you don't have transport, and I was going to go there. Well, I was waiting for the bus to come to take me from my treatment over to Pathway Clubhouse, and they decided, you know what, I'll call there, because I was just going to surprise them. And I thought, I'll call there, and Teresa answered the phone, that's the director, and I said, oh, Teresa, just a person, wanted to let you know I'm coming back over there. She said, oh, well, when?

Greg
02:24 - 02:32
I'm like, now, now. And she's like, oh, today's the only day we close early. We've got staff training. And it's like, it wasn't even like that that's the day they close early.

Greg
02:32 - 02:43
It's like, because of staff training. So some people can react a number of ways. And I, you know, my first thing was shock and horror, catastrophizing. I'm going to be stuck.

Greg
02:43 - 03:23
Here I am in my wheelchair. the bus is arranged to take me to pathway clubhouse and not home so am i going to be able to get home so then i had to deal with the anxiety of calling the bus and then wouldn't you know the dispatch said that the the lady who answered the phone i guess their dispatch department and the customer service are two separate entities she said the phones are down with dispatch so you'll have to wait for your driver to come and then the driver can radio over just tell them that you that your appointment cancels and you need to go home no radio over and i'm like oh the driver's going to give me a hard time you know it's going to be absolutely terrible and it wasn't i mean it would they were like yeah that's fine okay so but that's what went through my

Greg
03:23 - 03:29
mind so jay i don't know if you have any examples or if you can relate to it at all

Jay
03:29 - 03:39
Definitely. I am a bit different than Rich and Greg. I drive. I'm a guy that takes life as it comes very much.

Jay
03:40 - 04:17
And so I don't mind, you know, if I'm supposed to be one place one day and I end up in another. I'm somebody who's traveled a lot. I'm somebody who's I like to go out and I used to go out a lot more When I was younger and you know had more of the high school friends and that type of stuff I was a very social person and I still consider myself that way. It's just not always easy to make friends as a adult male, so I think I'm gonna try and play the angle of I think it's important if you keep plans with friends, that's something you need to think about because friends are valuable.

Jay
04:18 - 04:40
I think there's depends on the plan, of course. But some plans I think are important to keep, except for, you know, if you're going to have medical intervention where you're going to have be sick and things like that, always the doctor comes first. Your health comes first, your own mental health, your own physical health. But I think it's important to be there for your friends.

Jay
04:41 - 04:52
Even with Greg, when Greg needs to go to an appointment, I'm there. I always want to make sure I take care of my friends and I can be available to them. So I try to be dependable in that way.

Rich
04:52 - 05:22
Jay, you pointed out a really good point, and that's flexibility and being easygoing. Being easygoing can reduce stress. And Greg, you were talking about the way you reacted to finding out that Pathways Clubhouse was closed. If you can react in an easygoing, calm manner, And just think logistically think the way think through the event.

Rich
05:23 - 05:57
As opposed to getting worked up about kota dispatch and things like that or jay if you can just you know you're easy going as is you know you're just laid back you're not stress you don't worry about these things it's it's pretty easy to not get. worked up about last minute changes, I've found, which is great, as long as it doesn't become a pattern. That's something that I've noticed as an adult. When things become a pattern, it can be frustrating, whether it's professionally or personally.

Rich
05:57 - 06:04
When someone repeatedly cancels too often, you might stop counting on them.

Jay
06:04 - 06:19
And I think we also should face the fact that if you habitually cancel plans, stay home too much, that it can actually lead to things like agoraphobia, you know, where you'd actually have trouble leaving the house. And that's a real illness that people deal with all the time.

Greg
06:19 - 06:39
It's a good point. Yeah, I mean, you know, you wouldn't, you wouldn't credit it to look at me. I mean, I was like, you know, handling it like a champ, but inside it was a Bible on fire. but you know you wouldn't be able to tell that though you know we like predictability and sudden change can really mess with our expectations and drain energy and it can feel like a real loss especially if we're excited or prepared you know for doing a thing rich you

Greg
06:39 - 07:22
were talking earlier it doesn't have to be a bad thing right it can be a good thing you know it could free us up to do something else more important or that we've been wanting to do but you know haven't been able to find the time the point the point is we're all we're all different and we handle these things in different ways and there isn't a right and there isn't a wrong you know but if you do struggle with those last minute changes what can we do about it and some of the things that i found using you know i statements just to ground myself i can say you know i'm frustrated because i invested in time in this made a lot of phone calls you know so i've got skin in the game that reminds me that how i'm feeling is valid right and then reframing that you know what opportunity does it give for me instead.

Greg
07:23 - 07:54
Well, I was pretty tired anyway, and I was second guessing, should I have, you know, on top of a really busy week, should I really have been going and doing one more thing? So, you know, I mean, it worked out, was able to come home and rest. Breathing's a great thing, you know, if you get into an anxiety situation, and you can do that breathing, where you're breathing in for four seconds and holding it for four, and breathing out for six seconds, that can kind of release tension in your jaw and your shoulders. And accept the fact, you know, the plans change, take the small next step.

Greg
07:54 - 08:15
But sometimes when we're in it, it's not easy, right? And it depends on what those changes are and how invested, you know, we are into them. Maybe it's, you know, a family vacation and we've been planning it all year. You know, we've booked a reservation, we've got, you know, beach blankets waiting, you know, drink with an umbrella and all that's floating in it, it's waiting for us.

Greg
08:15 - 08:27
and things go bad. Maybe it's an event that we've been really looking forward to. We bought tickets, we took time off work, and something changes. So there's a number of things, but we all react differently.

Greg
08:28 - 08:29
Any more thoughts on the topic?

Jay
08:30 - 08:46
I think I have, and I always have had, a case of FOMO, where I'm fear of missing out. I don't like to live life in regret. Now, I have a lot of regrets from my life, but fear of missing out, I try not to make that one. Good things can happen that weren't planned.

Jay
08:47 - 08:51
You know, some of the best things that have happened in my life have come unexpectedly.

Greg
08:51 - 08:54
Right. Right. Absolutely. But we're creatures of habit, aren't we?

Greg
08:54 - 09:07
You know, we like, you know, change. Change can be a bit weird. So, Rich, you were talking about making plans with your brother and, you know, you were talking about this topic with him and some conversation came about.

Rich
09:07 - 09:27
Yeah, just how important, you kind of touched on it, just how important communication is with opting in and opting out. Sometimes you make plans and you make a decision. You start to look at all the factors. I was making plans for this upcoming holiday season to travel near the holiday season.

Rich
09:27 - 10:17
And, you know, we've got the air traffic controllers are shut down and they're canceling flights. And I've got a medication change going on right now that I'm going from, you know, one seizure med to the next. You know it's not it's not a good time for me to be it's not a good time for anybody to be traveling with on that specific date it's a bad time for the three people in my family that we were talking about traveling to travel but we were banging our heads against this date because it was my brother's birthday and when we actually sat down and talked about it We all realize that we were doing it for not an arbitrary date but for a date that we could get together.

Rich
10:17 - 10:46
In two months or three months when when the airports are open and running normally and medication my medication is back to normal. I'm on my seizure meds and you know the weather is back to normal it's not it's not winter travel and holiday travel and we're not dealing with you know the thanksgiving rush and christmas rush. It's great holiday all we had to do was communicate and we were all thinking the same thing

Greg
10:47 - 10:48
communication to beautiful thing right.

Rich
10:49 - 11:12
It really is it comes up so many times on our podcast over these last ten weeks you know just a little bit of. open communication or talking to the people that you're living with or in conflict with or in whatever, in any type of relationship with, it does so much to free up and open lines of communication. It does a lot.

Jay
11:12 - 11:35
I thank God for you two. I think that a lot of times, you know, we're on a group text and we send to each other that, you know, maybe, Greg, you're not feeling well and you're tired and it helps you know, hearing from your friends. And, you know, we meet, what, four or five times a week in video chat. And it reduces a lot of stress for me when I talk to you guys, because you guys can relate.

Greg
11:36 - 11:41
Likewise. Yeah, communication is a wonderful thing. Really is. But any more thoughts on this, gentlemen?

Jay
11:41 - 11:42
Not for me.

Greg
11:42 - 12:23
Okay, well. well well how about you if you're listening how do you handle change when things change at the 11th hour do you do you go with the flow do you roll with the punches or do you struggle let us know at kindnessrx.org and if you've got a topic or a subject that you'd like us to discuss let us know that too check us out we've got support groups on monday tuesday wednesday there we meet and tomorrow we've got a movie movie party tomorrow gentlemen right we again we're up for that fight or flight looking forward to that one so yeah check us out and if you want to join us for a movie you can do that too come back again next week and thanks for building a safer world one week at a time